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Landlord was in apartment this weekend while I was gone without permission

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I feel your pain Jayse29, I've been there ...

Post by Rubicon on Wed 03 Oct 2018, 12:05

Happened to me with an apartment I was renting in Quebec with a signed lease. Landlord was entering the apartment on weekends when I was away in Ontario. I changed the door lock without telling him and waited until he confronted me weeks later with not being able to enter the apartment with his key. I asked why he needed in and he began to stutter and stammer at which point I let him have it. I told him I knew he had been entering the apartment while I was away on weekends and that there were witnesses to this and it was flat out illegal without prior notice to me as the tenant per the lease agreement. There was also a pair of diamond earrings missing which I could not pin on him but suspected his teenage son who was also entering the apartment. I told him I would change the door lock back to the old one once I moved out and not before. If he had problems with that we could take me to court and the full disclosure of his actions and his son's actions would play out in front of a judge. I never had any problems with him for the remainder of my stay in the apartment complex and he was always cordial to me after that encounter as he knew he didn't have a leg to stand on. Jayse29, changing your door lock gives you time to cool down with your feelings of being violated while making you feel safer knowing there is a new lock on the door. It will be interesting to see how soon the next encounter will be with your landlord but rest assured if they have been pulling this shit without your permission, it will continue. Once questioned about the new lock you are putting the ball back in their court and see where it takes you. Be prepared to stand your ground because even without a rental agreement you do have rights. Also be prepared to move out as the scenario may go south quickly. Best of luck!

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Re: Landlord was in apartment this weekend while I was gone without permission

Post by Jayse29 on Wed 03 Oct 2018, 04:19

And to follow up, there was no signed rental agreement. Under the Ontario Tenant's Right's act, a signed or verbal rental agreement is not required. It simply implies that both parties agree upon the standard template laid out by the act. Whether they knew that prior to me outlining it for them does not free them from the rules as ignorance of these laws is not an excuse. I will not use this against them unless I have to for my own protection.

I simply want what's best for everyone and my right to privacy.

Lessons learned: -Do not become too close with a landlord or they may treat you like their child. Big red flag when they make mention of you "being a son to them". Sounds like something out of a horror movie if I consider that I've never seen the basement here, lol.
-Landlord right's in Ontario kinda suck. Never rent out part of my home when/if the time comes.

Another observation; I hear many stories from them about previous tenants. There is a WHOLE lot of 'em and each once was terrible (person smoked too much, weren't very nice, etc.) I was told the last person here got pot in the mail (which they illegally opened) so they gave him the boot. The wife doesn't see it as a bad thing but according to the husband."Now it's going to be legalized and everyone's houses are going to be broken into so they can support their weed addiction". Hmmm (No, I don't smoke in here and rarely do at all despite the medical authorization).

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Re: Landlord was in apartment this weekend while I was gone without permission

Post by Jayse29 on Wed 03 Oct 2018, 03:47

Newf, I think you hit the nail on the head with the mention of "trying to fill a void in their lives".

While I know nothing of any lost family members, they do have a rather large family which they likely spent most of their lives raising. What really hit home for me when I read your comment is how the wife mentions that her husband thinks of you like a son and how they consider me to be like family.

I posted a note on my door stating "Please respect my privacy as outlined in the e-mail I sent regarding Tenant's Privacy Act". It allowed me to get some much needed groceries knowing I had that extra safety net.

It has become quite the moral dilemma for myself as I know these people care about me and I care about them. I heard my name being called in a happy tone of voice only to hear silence as sad sounding footsteps could be heard slowly dragging away.

We come from very different generations. Their own consisting of their own views being right and anyone who does not feel the same way is wrong. I'm sure that they did this out of kindness but in modern times, forced kindness is rarely appreciated and potentially harmful without permission.

I'm reminded of people who approach dogs without the owners permission and offer uninvited dog training techniques when told to back off. Anyone with kids can probably attest to old folks in the grocery store approaching "what a cute baby" while trying to put their dirty mits around the child's face. No polite way of telling these people to "back off, I don't know where your hands have been".

Bigrex, you are correct in the fact that there are potentially some things I may not notice due to my illness. Regardless, there is a formal process that must be adhered to with this and it does not involve waiting for me to be gone for the weekend to "help out" with turning my world upside down. My cousin who is an RN was with me prior to leaving and upon return. She knows me well, would have told me if something was amiss and was quite infuriated saying herself there was no need for concern.

I'm not sure if "ensuite" was the right word, it's a 3 bedroom apt. but it's just attached to the house. I wish you luck in finding a place for your daughter and thank you for your input as devils advocate. Something that everyone needs to hear in order to fully evaluate the situation.

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Re: Landlord was in apartment this weekend while I was gone without permission

Post by bigrex on Mon 01 Oct 2018, 07:55

I know that you you feel violated. The first thing i would do is look at the rental agreement. Even apartment buildings, have clauses, that gives them the right to enter the apartment without notice, to conduct scheduled maintenance. En-suites are even worse, because even though you pay rent, it is still their home, and they have the right to ensure the upkeep of the home. I'm just trying to playthe devils' advocate, because, they may have had their reasons'. Your illness may have prevented you from truly seeing the mess around you, so they may have thought they were doing you a favour. So I would sit down with them, somewhere public, so it's both a neutral space, and everyone is less likely to lose their tempers. I just don't want this week to ruin a good situation, because I'm helping my daughter look for an apartment, and it's not easy.
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Re: Landlord was in apartment this weekend while I was gone without permission

Post by Newf on Mon 01 Oct 2018, 06:11

Jayse29
I have not been in such a situation but this is just wrong. These people, although they may have good intentions, should not being coming into your home without your permission and definately not rummaging through your personal property. I realize this is delicate situation with them being the landlord and you the renter.

Without being in your shoes, I will offer a couple of suggestions which you may or may not have explored.

-First, I would express my concerns with your landlord about their actions by meeting with one of them in person. Not sure if they are rational people but they need to know your concerns espically if you are paying them to rent their place. If you are unable to meet in person then write them a letter and keep a copy of this letter.

-Maybe changing the locks on your door and/or installing a security system.

-Talk to your neighbours about this older couple. Perhaps, they lost a son or daughter and are trying to fill a void in their lives. Maybe you can get some info from the neighbours. For example, a name or phone number of the people who rented before you who you can call to ask questions.

-Complain to a government agency.

You are doing the right thing by speaking to your psychologist and reaching out here on this website. Hopefully, you will be able to rectify this situation.
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Landlord was in apartment this weekend while I was gone without permission

Post by Jayse29 on Mon 01 Oct 2018, 02:43

Not sure if this is the place to post but I am feeling very damn triggered right now. I had a great weekend spent with my cousins I haven't seen in years only to come home to my place being tidied up and my toaster oven replaced with a new one.. It's an ensuite attached to a home owned by an older couple.
I always pay rent on time, even throw in a little extra if I feel I used a lot of power in the month. WE get (got) along but I can' look at my place right now, I feel mentally raped as my home is no longer safe.

It started on wednesday, I was coming home from grabbing groceries and picking up some missing pieces from my computer desk I had been working on building that day. I come home to see my door open and they were up there working on my bathroom sink (no permission, not even a phone call asking).

It caught me off guard and the wife mentioned all the cardboard and styrofoam on the floor. I mentioned I had just been building a computer desk. Meanwhile her husband (working on the sink) just starts opening my drawers (without asking permission) "You have a flathead screwdriver in here?"

I was absolutely livid but maintained composure. Told him "Could you please leave that be? Now I would like to cook some dinner but am a bit bothered right now. Please leave and respect my privacy."

I spent my next session with my psychologist solely on that as it had bothered me so much.


Then came the weekend, cleaned my place (not quite spotless like theirs but sanitary and somewhat arranged) and went to pick up my cousin so we could see her sisters new baby and stay there the weekend.


I got home to find bags of garbage, an absolutely spotless kitchen, old toaster oven thrown out, new one put in (old one still worked). Things were re-arranged in my fridge, bathroom and such but the kicker is they went through a lot of my small things, cleaned under my bed (no food, just clothes and cannibis pipe which is gone).

As someone who is diagnosed ptsd, I am beyond livid. It would appear (and perhaps in their mind) they were doing something good for me by cleaning and fucking snooped my personal belongings. I don't know what to do I feel like I've been mentally raped and violated. I can no longer go anywhere without feeling safe or without worrying about it. Im losing a ton of sleep over it and im done with it. I know my rights in this department and they have been clearly violated big time and its really playing with my head.

Obviously first thing I should focus on is finding a new place which is a shame because I liked it here. Privacy is my biggest concern, I need it, its been violated I feel violated and am considering bringing this to small claims. (this is the 3rd time but 1st its been so personal)


Has anyone dealt with this? I just need someone to talk to is all, this is horrid feeling.

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