A huge thank you to all of you

It took a lot of courage just to come on here and speak your mind for you and your daughter. This family wishes you the future you deserve and I have no doubt this forum will guide you in the process that can help your family through Veteran's Affairs and other resources available to you.

I wish you all the best Mikeswife. If you have any problems with Veterans Affairs let me know. God bless. He needs to be able to see what's wrong in order to fix it...that's the problem. Do not feel guilt anymore. You've done your best, stay strong. A few gents are right, many here went through the turmoil, he should come on here And talk or read. Take care

Just a point for all, a coin in life bears two sides add to that a masked ( dirty grimmy worthless eroded) face and the identity of that coin becomes just a piece of alloy. The real identity of that coin has never lost value just it has been denied a place among the loose change in life. PTSD steal ones identy and supposedly lessens ones value in service to country and self, in my opinion the value of each individual coin is directly influenced how you count your change.  We the soldiers feel the value is in the aesthetics of the coin therefore the dirtier the coin the less value it has. We all need to understand that the value of soldiering is not about how clean we are it is about how to feel valuable and in a world of polished pockets. Good luck Mikswife and tell your husband we don't need polish anymore we need beautiful people like you and your daughter to jingle that lose change in our pockets and remind us warriors we are still a buck and quarter.

MIKEWIFE. Sorry to hear this, for I put my family through the same thing. It took me yrs to realize I couldn't trust or like anyone that came close to me. I put my wife and two lovely children through hell. Finally my wife couldn't take it any longer. I was in total denial at that point in my life. My doc made an appointment with a psychologist. I also tried many times to OD on my meds. When I started to see the doc, she started me as her life long patient but it keeps my family together and me from hurting myself. It also took her 7 yrs to show me how bad my PTSD is. I still go every week to see her. Its been over 13 yrs now and yes I do have PTSD. But sometimes I slip backwards and then I'm back to my troubles. This time I have people to help me get through it all. I know it'll never leave me. Its a part of who I am but again the ones that love me are helping me to live with it. I'm not saying it's a rose garden but I now can smell the roses. Mikeswife - you have to do what is best for you and your daughter. God Bless You in your quest for happiness.

You are all so kind! Such inspiring words. I will leave my account open, and stay in touch. I do know that his denial is not from hate, and I know his anger is not my fault. And I do hope this is the wake up call he needs. I am accessing what services I can, as he will not let us leave with anything. Hoping to get 2 plane tickets home this week and I will be checking into the women's shelter once I get there. The counseling I never thought of, thank you....I will. I am relieved that I will soon be picking up the pieces of my life. This has been so hard alone. Its hard to watch someone you love fall apart like that. And it was hard to face that I was afraid of him even though he has never laid a hand on me , though its been close. I have had nightmares that I stayed until it was too late, and we became another statistic. It is guilt that has kept me here this long. I pray that he gets through this with minimal damage to himself or others. I just don't know what to do anymore, other than leave and get help for my daughter and I. Again...from the bottom of my heart...thank you!

Mikeswife I too denied what was obvious to others, it was a smell believe it or not that brought my world of denial crumbling down.  My husband also in the military allowed me to keep covering what was going on, because he too thought it was a normal transition, his own experiences made it so.  Not making excuses for your husband, but his denial is not out of hate, he truly may not want to feel, love, or family; he may feel that the atrocities he witnessed fell upon those unworthy of such pain, and sorrow.  Guilt, of having normalcy in life may be keeping him trapped.  I am glad that you are leaving, I volunteer with Victims of Domestic Violence, and you too are in a trap of guilt, and love.  Leave, but please ensure that you make it worth while to do so, ensure that you and your daughter get counselling.  Don't know where you are headed, but I would suggest that you contact the nearest shelter, regardless of whether or not you require housing.  These shelters will provide you with counselling referrals, help in getting housing, and furniture.  If you would like to send me a PM I would certainly assist you in finding the agency nearest you.  Remember that most bases now have Family Centres that have counsellors, and even though you may not living with your spouse you surely be able to speak to a counsellor there.
Good Luck, and maybe this will be the wake up.  Remember you are doing the best you can, and I am sure your daughter would rather come from a broken home, than live in one. Ciao

Mikswife.....Best of luck to you and your daughter. I really hope that he finds it in his heart to get help and get better.
Please take care of yourself and be strong for you and for your daughter who needs you. Stand by her every step of the way.
Get some professional help for yourself and for your daughter as you arrive at your destination.
I've been there and if you feel like talking, inbox me and I will give you my e-mail.
Take care of yourself and be strong.

Praying for you

Widow of Veteran

Mikswife...if you feel you must go, please stop by this site from time to time. We here have been through almost everything one can go through. The wealth of issues and life experience on this site can help. If you think leaving is the right thing for you and your daughter, then that IS the right thing to do. Perhaps your leaving is the thing that may help Mike get the help he needs. If you love him, tell him. He may understand why you must go. May you find joy and peace again. Chin up. Good luck. God speed.
Sapper Zodiak

Before you go, maybe you should sit him on the computer and let HIM read our site and maybe he will realize that he is not alone in his struggles, even if you are no longer at his side. We have some very knowledgeable members who have been in the very same situation he is in right now, and have come out the other side, and with some help, and God's mercy, he will too.

Thank you fisherman! Sadly, its for the best.

Best of Luck to you and your daughter. Sometimes what is best  for you is the hardest to do.

Praying for you

Fishman7
Over and out

Hi everyone. I have been one of the more quiet ones on here, but believe me, I spent many a night reading all the comments. I sometimes would cry, sometimes laugh, sometimes get angry. My vet has ptsd and I have been his only support. He will not get help. I isolated myself until recently, I showed up at my local legion in tears, and they made me feel safe and not alone. They tried to get him into a program, but somehow we lost contact, and then my hubby changed his mind. He no longer thinks theres anything wrong. Even though he sometimes thinks the neighbors are conspiring against him, making threats, etc. Our family dr is aware of this, but there is only so much he can do. It has not gotten to the point where I have had to hospitalize him yet, but very close. Unfortunately, after months of a very very difficult decision, I am leaving with my daughter. I do not think my daughter has any kind of life until he gets help. He does not hurt her, but he is not nice to her ( he is her step father). We are leaving next week I hope, back home. He moved us almost 2000 km from my friends and family and will not help me get there. I am leaving with my clothing. It is to that point. Part of me feels I am abandoning him. But I no longer keep his condition secret. I reached out for my own help. And I also told his family, so that they can hopefully support him and get him help once I am gone. I wish you all the very very best. Stay strong everyone! But as I am no longer Mik's wife, I feel I should move on You are all in my prayers......