BEWARE of the mooches

Widow of Veteran, what's up with that ? people not returning your bowls, the nerve, try to be a good person and look what happens. I would suggest you stay well clear of people like that. I for one was never a borrower, I saw to many friendships fall apart in such situations as you described. Even when I help others out, they always say, anytime you need anything give me a call, I never do, I am a very independent person, I think that was brought on to me, by serving in the forces The forces taught me a lot, and I do miss it at times. Anyway for me being independent, works well for me.

That kind of behavior is commun, some people will keep you nail clippings if you do it at there home.

There is a certain someone. Always making get togethers. Even celebrating her children or other peoples birthday and ask everybody to bring a plate (potluck). Always does this, even with her grandchildren. When you bring your dish, she keeps everything, all left overs of everybody. What I did, I told her that I needed my bowls back because they were bowls that I use a lot (crystal). She will put everything in another container and give me back an empty bowl. It never ends. She always has a gathering going and I can't afford it. Everybody else leaves there food behind also. A few times, I left my containers with covers and never got them back or got them back a bit dirty so I threw them in the garbage because it had not been clean fast enough, it was stuck.....yuk.....made me gag so bad. Every time that I have made a gathering, the food was all supplied by me and they had the nerve to leave with a plateful without asking.
I'm done with that behavior. A few times, we were all together and decided to order out and we were to pay our own bills. This one was the one to suggest it but when the guy came to the door, she pretended not to find her money. I was okay as I had ordered from a different place.
I have learned my lesson.

Widow of Veteran

So true trooper. It's my time to shine. My daughter and I. Very little people know about what I have coming but I have found the strength to say "no".

It will surely mean a better life and a new beginning.

Rustyrazor.....I have many friends and some family members that are moochers but most are my friends and many of them. I've already push myself away from them, just to get ready. They are asking me what is wrong and I rather not talk to them. I have a family member that will use the children to grab my heart. I love those kids dearly but I've caught on and if it's what he chooses to do. I need to walk away and refuse to be hurt. I have so much money roaming around but they all avoid me knowing the situation I am in. They never intended to repay me. I even have some friends that have been able to bring on tears......how sick is this? I caught them.

Widow of Veteran

Address any mutual friends. If you have mutual friends with the moocher, you may want to speak with them about the moocher's behavior in as diplomatic a way as possible. It's best if you can present a united front. For example, say "Joe's a really cool guy, and he's a lot of fun to hang out with, but I've noticed he really doesn't pitch in whenever we go out as a group, and I'm worried that it will put a strain on our friendship. It would be great if we could do something about it so we don't have to have problems." If you don't want to (or can't) drop the friendship, you might need to have some kind of intervention. Financial issues can tear people apart, so don't let your friend's mooching habits ruin your relationship.

Turn the tables. Since there have been plenty of times when you helped them out, test them and see if they'll return the favor. Mooch off of them. "Forget" your wallet, ask them to loan you money, borrow their clothes, and see what happens. It may feel unnatural for you, but you might really discover your friend's true colors by doing this. Don't wait until you're really in a pinch, only to discover that many of your friends will leave you high and dry.

Mention that it's the moocher's turn to treat. This is where it starts to get a little more confrontational. If the moocher turns you down somehow, or seems to blow the question off, you must threaten to cancel the event, and mean it.

Assign the moocher a fair share in advance. If you're planning a road trip or dinner party, sketch out who will bring what. Make a list, and ask the mooching friend what he or she will bring. If they lament their financial situation, empathize and ask them to bring one of the less expensive items, or suggest that they cook something (which is always cheaper, but at least it requires effort). Once moochers see their names on a list, it won't be as easy to skimp. Just make sure that whatever they're responsible for bringing, they're the only ones responsible for it, so that if they don't, it'll be noticeable to everyone involved

Get to the root of their financial woes. Sometimes people are genuinely in a pinch, but if you're reading this, the moocher in question is probably someone who chronically looks for a free ride, and who you suspect is too lazy or cheap to pull their own weight. Every time they're short on cash, make it a point to bring up his or her money issues in private, shortly afterward. Approach the matter delicately, but make it clear that you've noticed their pattern, so that they don't feel like their mooching can slip under the radar:

At a restaurant, ask for separate checks when you order. If the moocher tends to not order anything, but then picks incessantly at your dish, cough lightly on your food and say something like "You might not want to eat these nachos...I think I might be getting the flu. Why don't I order you a separate dish?" When you order, ask for that dish to be on a separate check. If your friends might think that's poor etiquette, say something like "I'm writing it off as a business expense; I have to have separate receipts in case I screw up and get audited!"

Joke around about their "absentmindedness". For example, if your friend chronically "forgets" her wallet, assume that she will do so the next time you go out to dinner. Before you leave for the restaurant, smile and poke fun: "You sure you've got your wallet this time?" If they want to borrow something that probably isn't going to get returned, you can say something to the effect of "Pretty soon you're going to have my entire wardrobe!" Maintain a cheery disposition - the moocher should register that you're on to them, although that's not always enough to make them stop.

The way I see it is that the more people that knows about your retro, the greater chances you have of running into a mooch. The less people that know about your retro, the less chance you have of running into a mooch. This is your money, and really it is nobody's business but your own. Like teen stated, look at it as a second chance to better your own life, not someone else's life.

I have a water pistol......lol. I have to stand my grounds and not let anybody come mooching around.
This is my body guard......a whole 10 pounds.....lol.



Widow of Veteran

I'm glad someone started this topic. Family can be leeches at times and everyone has to remember that this money is a chance for a lot of veterans to plan ahead.

I like to call it a second chance to really take care of myself and my wife.

I can say this when I cashed my retro I got a very surprising phone call from my bank. They ofcourse are looking for business but if you know your financial adviser they truly are looking out to help you for the future.

I told her what I did and she said that's the best thing to do. Especially when I told her I'm still looking at taxes and I want to make sure I do have the money to pay.

Like the saying goes...God gives you great friends to make up for the family of assholes you got stuck with at birth!