My personal struggles with PTSD

This is exactly what this site is all about brotherhood.

Six Actual- Ya no problem at all Brother, we have to have ea others back. I know with PTSD, being around others who get it, and share feelings will help a lot.

Thanks for you supportive words Johnny. I think I'll take your advice and see about joining an OSSIS group.

I gotta do something, because my current strategy of coping is an abject failure.

Thanks again for your understanding and supportive words. I appreciate it.

Six Actual - As a Vet with the same daily struggles of PTSD, I get it. I also get it that the smallest life changes sucks for us. Our memory and staying concentrated on more then one thing is gone. I also take cbd 3 times a day, and thc at night.
I’m not sure where Yr at Brother, but about 6 yrs ago I joined the OSSIS gp. One of the best decisions of my life, as that gp of Brothers and sisters who get it literally saved my life. We meet every wk for coffee, then do our formal round table sharing every 2nd Thursday. You can look it up on the net, under OSSIS, and see who the coord is in Yr area.
I see my pscy still once a mth, massage every 2nd wk, have a service dog,( which might be awesome as Yr by Yr self), and my gp of guys who get it. I can call these guys or the coord anytime of day or night, and I’ll have there 6 also. I get it, and know it sucks, but these are the tools I use. Anytime you want to PM me brother feel free. I hope this helps. Johnny, VVV

I recently had a favourable decision for a departmental review.

I cash out the PSC and received a large sum of money.

I thought I'd buy a house for the first time. But, the process was so invasive. They wanted to know everything about my income, which meant exposing my medical history. And the paperwork was unreal. I even had to prove where I got the down payment from.

So I tossed in the towel, to stressful and to much horse shit.

Then I thought okay, it's been almost 2 years since I traveled anywhere. So I decided to go to Amsterdam where I can access cannabis, because I have a script for it here at home.
Then the weather delays my flight. So I called the hotel in Amsterdam and they assured me my prepaid room would be waiting for me when I arrive. I wake up this morning to go to airport and see the hotel cancelled my booking. No matter how many times I called or Booking.com called they wouldn't answer the phone. So no accommodation in Amsterdam unless I fork out more money.

So I'm sitting here at the airport and I'm waiting to head home. Screw it all. I'm out $2500 in total, but I can't handle the stress.

I'm not looking for sympathy, just needed to share with you all how my life is affected by PTSD. I live alone and have nobody to tell this too.

After 11 years of therapy I'm still a basket case.