How do you move on?

I've been in a really dark place lately, and the uncertainty of my situation is only making things worse. First, I found out they lowered my VIP by almost $400/year, and I was already supplementing the housekeeping out of my own pocket. Then there was the whole bombshell of not having an assigned CM anymore, and waiting for the ELB retro. Plus I am starting to have the same nerve impairment symptoms that led up to emergency back surgery last year, on top of the daily pain I already endure. Then I found out my wife has been having an affair, and it all came crashing down, and I attempted suicide. But now that I did that, and lived, how do i keep going? How do I see the looks of pity, I get from my family, and not want to run away and hide. How do I look my wife of 23 years, in the face again, without wanting the pain to end?

I have always tried to help others, in any way I could. But with this, I am at a loss, and need to be the one asking for help.