The Defence Department has sent a soldier suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder a bill for $427.97

Keep at it and I have been dealing with PTSD since 1996, just didn't know it until I was diagnosed in spring of 2002. Went the route of a number of drugs and shit sessions that made me believe that the shrink I was spilling my guts too, had no clue as to what I was talking about and couldn't understand where I was coming from (noted by his blank stares, while I talked).

After a year of walking through life like a zombie from the drugs, I stopped taking them and started to deal with my condition with a few glasses of wine, a beer or two, which made it a bit better and I wasn't zoning out on my family. Some days it is really hard and others a bit easier, but I am being a good soldier (even if I am retired) and soldiering on!

So Hatshepsut, you are not alone and we have your back, even from across the country!

Yes I am here...thank you. Its only been recently that I have talked to any one other than my therapist, and baby steps. I know I have felt alone for a long time and finding others like myself is a boost to me. I hear so many comments about how PTSD isn't real and "those " people are just weak that has made me keep my mouth shut when what I should of done was put them in their place. People think all their aches and pains are some kind of competition and you cant possibly be worse off than they are...lol...so I keep my mouth shut. And why do Vets feel they are entitled to any support by the government, they were just doing their job. I really have to get back to the tough one I was once. Stop feeling like such a failure, like I have a big L tattooed to my forehead.
I joined the military when I was 17 yrs old. I grew up there. I always felt like a somebody. Was always independent. Since my release I have felt such a disconnect. Lost. Sometimes needy, and I hate it.
Anyway, enough for today. Thanks for listening.
Lest we Forget !!

the only coward or shameful soldiers i know are the ones hiding, you are here and that soldier is more powerful than any medal, stay strong and post trust me the idea of putting a keypad in front of you is like putting your past behind you, thanks

Hello... I am new here....haven't even told my family about PTSD...lol what a coward eh ?? its been years but still embarrassed, some shame, some guilt. lol. I hate the label. Still in therapy, and working on it. Have questions..I am a friend of Supreme Debater and he suggests I come here. Night all....

You can't offend anyone in here brother, it's all about who you are as an individual and how you identify cope and live with or without PTSD. You have marched to a beat that only you feel comfortable with, so ideally we all suffer in our own way and that is ok with me. I have learned from your words therefore you continue to train us veterans with honesty, you my brother still have much more to teach and learn about all of us. Thanks for your honest words , AIRBORNE

You can't offend anyone in here brother, it's all about who you are as an individual and how you identify cope and live with or without PTSD. You have marched to a beat that only you feel comfortable with, so ideally we all suffer in our own way and that is ok with me. I have learned from your words therefore you continue to train us veterans with honesty, you my brother still have much more to teach and learn about all of us. Thanks for your honest words , AIRBORNE

IT IS BETTER TO DIE AS A HERO, THEN TO RETURN AS A WOUNDED SOLDIER. AS I HAVE FOUND OUT WITH MY MENTAL AND PHYSICAL BROKEN MIND BODY AND SOUL.   1. 28 PILLS A DAY ,2. INSULIN PUMP AT MAX TO LIVE. 3.EVERY BRACES THERE IS FOR A BODY PART , 4. PTSD 5. MAJOR DEPRESSION 6.MANY SUE ATTEMPTS     7.WANTING REVEGE   8. THERE ARE NO SLEEPS AT NIGHTS    9.TO SMELL SMOKE IS TO SMELL DEAD BURN BODYS, THERE ARE NO BBQ ANYMORE    10.THE REST IS COVERED BY MOST STATMENTS MADE BY VETS WITH PTSD.  LAST BUT NOT THE LESS  11. PYO DOC ONCE A WEEK FOR THE LAST 14 YRS.   12. WEEKLY VISITS TO MANY DOCS AND HOSPITALS CARE.   13. LAST BUT NOT THE LESS IS FAMILY.NEED NOT TO SAY ANYMORE ABOUT IT. WHEN WILL IT END.??????????? OTHER WISE I'M JUST A NORMAL   RED'T  SOLDIER TRYING TO LIVE WITH THIS. WHO'S TO BLAME. NO ONE OR  PERSONS ARE TO BLAME. ITS JUST APART OF A SOLDIERS JOB. IT GO'S WITH THE TITLE OF      I'M A SOLDIER!  IN THIS TROUBLING WORLD WE LIVE IN.     PLEASE MY THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS . I CAN'T COMPARE MY LIFE TO ANY OTHER LIFE WITH PTSD.  BUT I HAVE A BIGGER UNDERSTANDING ABOUT IT ALL. AND TO EVERY SOLDIER OUT THERE. IF I COULD FOR ONE MOMENT IN TIME HELP ANYONE THEN AL OF THIS HAS A PERPOSE. NOT THAT I WISH IT APON ANYONE.  WE ALL HAVE THE SAME PAIN JUST TRYING TO LIVE WITH IT. IF I HAD A CHANCES TO CHANGE ANY OR PART IN MY LIFE.   I'D SAY NO CHANGE.,  CAUSE I WAS MENT TO BE A SOLDIER AND THIS IS PART OF THE JOB. THIS IS HOW I SEE IT. I HOPE I HAVE NOT AFENNED ANYONE, IF SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME OF MY THOUGHTS. PS I TYPE LARGE SO I CAN SEE IT . GOD BLESS YOU ALL. HC

Amen

My PTSD has been and is here to stay. My ability to live with it is improving with the years and becoming kind of second nature. I do all  in my power to avoid  situations that will  become fuel on the fire.  I do and must take my daily prescribed cocktail. I see the psychiatrist still after ten years. I accept the  fact that pills will  remain  in my diet until the end. My military carreer was cut  short by ten years and my goal to retire as a cwo did not happen. I am proud of  my career, the  crown and the professionnel reputation I earned as well as my three overseas missions. I have PTSD yes. I became disabled yes. But I have no regrets.

Fishman7
Over and out

Amen to futures

PGV

I have been there and I am sure I will again the hardest part is walking away and saying nothing to some one who would never get it anyway, I to hate this sisip "lottery" the only thing I can do is keep smiling and walk away.

I like to think of my life now as a work in progress I can't fix the past but I can make A new furture.

For most 20 years, half my life I have dealt with PTSD, CSR or whatever you want to call it. The fact is with constant daily reminders of why my body hurts and I can't hear so well anymore, I struggle, a lot. Just as we all do, I have my baggage. A friend I made while doing group sessions said, "We all have baggage, it is not how we carry it but what we do when we drop a piece. Do you throw the rest down and kick it around the room in a tantrum or do you pick it up and carry on?" I have tried my best to pick up the pieces. We all have to try. It has cost me all my friends, all my military family and now recently my marriage. It could have been much worse if I hadn't fought so hard and continue to fight. I need to see my son grow up in as healthy a home as I can give him.
I went camping last weekend and overheard and argument in the site next to me. Two people were at it over our soldiers coming back messed up, hurt or even dead. The lady was saying it was our own fault if we come back F'd up and that we shouldn't be there at all. While I think her husband was saying that we were there fighting for our freedoms and that we live in the country we do because we did......etc. It took everything for me not to walk over and do something I would be in jail for now. I had been drinking and this was a major test of my character. (my hands shake just writing this) I ran into him a few minutes later and told him what I heard and had to set him straight. I said to him, " We don't go over seas to fight for our freedom, we go over to fight for those people that can't fight for themselves." I have been distant and had a headache ever since. I know I will have a big bag of crap to talk to my psychological when I see him.
So I have learned in two decades that it never gets better, I just learn to have more self control. Even if I wish I didn't. The whole thing with SISIP is driving me mad as I came to grips with how the government screwed us for the money years ago. This "lottery" is testing my limits. I have dropped my baggage and I don't want to pick it up today but I don't have a choice. My son is here this week and I can't put him through it.
My suggestion to all who suffer is to find someone who can provide empathy not sympathy. I got lucky and wish the best for all of you living moment to moment.

Chimo
I know the pieces fit because I watched them fall away.

Abuse of authority is out there alive and kicking. (pun intended). People using their position to "prove" they have control or that they don't believe you are truly in pain or should "suck it up" are idiots.
Too many superiors and even peers assume you are faking it - even with multiple surgeries they only see that you are "off sick". The old saying "Sick lame and lazy" rears its ugly head and colours the actions of others.
Again I say IDIOTS.

Mine wasn't directly linked, but VAC thought it better to link it to link it to the disability than accept that I was being harassed by my superiors for well over a year because of my disability. How many Co's out there actually threaten to release someone for being an administrative burden, so that I wouldn't be entitled to my CF pension, after just having 2 major knee surgeries within 4 months. I learned about a pain clinic through my doctor and the next one was 2 months away and was one afternoon per week for a month. I submitted my request though the chain, and registered for a spot. In spite of the 2 months notice, my CO only signed off 2 days before the first session, and then I was given a verbal warning for registering before getting approval. It was a complete cluster. It finally got so bad that my doctor put me on medical leave for the last seven months of my 15 year career because my CO refused to allow me the courtesy of being employed elsewhere, even if he didn't want me, and when I went in to sign my PER, he actually said to me that even though I was on medical leave, I "belonged" to him and he could whatever he wanted to me. My blood still boils thinking about it.

It is linked.
I relate to the eating and sleeping thing. Avoiding people, especially anyone that knew me before my "condition" is a big issue. I force myself but the anxiety is overwhelming.
It is good to have a partner to rely on. Mine tries his best to help when he can. Thank you for your words of encouragement.